Love is the most powerful sexual technique.
The science will still not tell you why for a while - but you will find that love really works.
The body receives everything differently when it is loved. It is a very subtle extra layer of communication beyond your awareness but the body can hear it.
When the body feels loved it just becomes a lot more responsive, it happily opens its richest sexual energies. When the body is loved it becomes more sensitive and orgasmic. It gets aroused more quickly and deeply. Love can even open new kinds of orgasmic experiences that are accessible only through being loved (this is typical in the female body, for example).
Even the genitals, which we normally think of as quite mechanical and dependent on physical stimulation, respond very differently when they are spoken to with love - with a much richer, more alive and more orgasmic energy.
Your body simply knows when it is loved and when it is not loved - when it is worked. And when it is loved it opens in joy and flourishes with sexual energy. The body is intelligent that way. It asks to be loved and it is offended by being worked and rubbed.
Love in sex also makes every moment of sexual energy far more nourishing. This same contact, this same moment becomes so much more nutritious and enriching when love flows through it.
When we feel powerfully, intensely loved through the body in sex, it nourishes us emotionally, psychologically, relationally. It is a really powerful positive energy that goes to the deepest layers of you, all your neurological layers that need to be blissed out, soothed, loved and connected, all your evolutionary brains, all your emotional needs. It is like intense sunshine that goes to all the corners of yourself you don’t even know about it, and it does something really transformative and enriching there.
You come out of it so fully alive. You feel really well, and happy.
Feeling intensely loved through the body is simply very powerful for us.
It can leave after sex a real enrichment, a deep sense of happiness and wellbeing that will stay with us in our day, in our energies.
So loving sex is the most powerful sex because it makes the most powerful impact on us, it really leaves something behind. An orgasm or fun are just small change compared the experience of saturating with intense physical love for some time.
It is really just obvious - nothing is more powerful than love in our lives. Why would the one exception be physical intimacy - out of all things! - and why are orgasms more important?
Going to the next level - love in sex is a soulful, meaningful and beautiful experience between us. It is the greatest human connection in sex. Without it, sex is just about consuming an entertainment product or working physically to reach a result - both are fine but not our greatest. Love is the ultimate human experience. Even if you felt no physical sensation and it was just an experience of feeling loved - that would enrich you more than a physical sensation in the groin.
It’s also not just about receiving love - giving love is also a beautiful experience for us.
The real giving love. Not performing jobs for validation, but feeling your love flow in this moment.
When you experience yourself as love, when you love flows through your body to your lover.
It is an amazing experience of yourself.
When you love from your body it activates your own sexual systems within you, it generates your own sexual energy. It feels amazing to love. It activates you spiritually as love. It is a flow state.
If your lover is a significant person to you, you get to speak your love and express it in a powerful way that really changes how they feel. It makes them feel loved, well, happy, sparkling in their life. It’s amazing to be able to have that impact and to see it happen in real time as you are touching this body.
You get to feel the ultimate connection with this person that love is.
And if you are in a long-term relationship, then loving sex becomes a space where you go just to love. You can literally do nothing else in your life that is pure loving of each other. You spend time feeling loved by your partner and you express your love to them, you speak you love together. You do it in lovely colours and sounds of your bodies. Your bodies absorb physical love from each other as a powerful nourishment that they really need.
Then you literally generate love in your relationship by having sex. You saturate with love in sex and that love stays with you. You carry it in your system in your daily life in you relationship. It regenerates connection, harmony, affection, togetherness.
In relationship sex it is essential. Otherwise you are regularly meeting for physical intimacy but you feel no love, you just feel work or shallow entertainment. This is not just malnourishing - on a deeper level it is upsetting.
How would you life be different if it was constantly nourished with love? Surely more than if it was instead nourished only with fun or a release of sexual tension.
So these are the many reasons why love creates the greatest sex - and it has nothing to do with some Victorian ideals that ‘you should have sex with someone you love because it will be better’.
Love in sex is simply the most powerful and the most effective sexual technique - for anybody. It gives the biggest sexual effect. It brings the greatest enrichment on all levels of your being, even in the physical body. This is why it creates the greatest sex. While we may enjoy other kinds of sex too, none will be as powerful.
Our bodies and psyche simply really value love. They really respond to love, they get really enriched with love - that is why it becomes the greatest sex.
The truth is - you can have whole kinds of sex that would consist of nothing but sending love to each other’s bodies. You may experience no sexual arousal, no sexual sensation, no genital energy and no orgasm. And yet you would still get far more out of giving each other love than out of all the sexy stuff. You would still feel more nourished, happy, well and in love afterwards.
Love is just the most valuable thing you can get from sex. It will do more you than anything else. You don’t normally need to choose - you can get your arousal, sexual energy, intensity and orgasm together with love. But if you had to pick one thing - choose love. It’s the prime asset here.
This means that if today you felt profoundly loved in sex and nothing else happened - no orgasm, no physical sensation, no ‘pleasure’, no excitement - then don’t be disappointed and know that you still got the best sex.
This is an absolutely practical mindset to have. You can do a lot less work and get a lot more out of sex.